Happy Birthday Ashley Owens // Loving Ashley [ Excerpt ]

THE BIG 26. I had finally reached true adulthood. That’s what my best friends, Beli and Cian, have been telling me for about a year now. Never mind the fact that I am only a year younger than them. They only just developed a few months before me.

Beli, Cian, and I were sitting at one of the VIP booths in my favorite little brunch spot in Southeast Granville, Honey & Butter, right on the cusp of the Arts District. I love this little hole in the wall. The staff was always pleasant, not too many people came here, and they had some of the strongest drinks this side of Costley Nance.

Drinks, which were taken full advantage of by me and my best friends. My favorite bartender had a heavy hand, so we made sure we were here when she worked.

Cian’s usual brown skin had a red undertone. The liquor was coming out of his pores.

He blurted out. “Here’s to Ashley’s water-head ass. Your prefrontal cortex has finally formed fully. Maybe now you’ll leave that no good shiftless nigga you’re fucking with alone.”

Cian and Belizaire raised their mimosas into the air.

My reaction time was slower than I realized. I’d heard Cian’s words, but I was still smiling from the joke Beli had made a few seconds prior.

I centered myself before responding.

“Cian, not too much on my man.”

The tension was nonexistent. I was not unfamiliar with the way my friends felt about my beau. My Salvatore, the bad boy who had stolen my heart years ago.

Salvatore was actually a good man with a good-paying job; the thing is, his job was less than favorable. And sometimes, he wasn’t the best with time management. But who has the perfect love story, anyway?

Cian shrugged. Then he and I shared a laugh.

Cian continued. “Look, you know we love you. And we love that we can sit here with you eating brunch and drinking ourselves pissy, but if it wasn’t for your man, we would be out at that lil’ low-key lounge, Ossawa’s tonight.”

Beli said. “You know, Cian is right. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love chicken and waffles as much as the next man, but nigga, if we were going out tonight to celebrate you, then I could be knees deep in some pussy right now.”

Cian and I groaned.

Cian asked. “Beli, nigga, when aren’t you ever knees deep in some pussy?”

I downed the rest of my mimosa and said. “Now, hold on. I want to be out sipping on Casamigos with my bros and shaking my ass as much as the next nigga, but I want to be laid up with my man more.”

Beli laughed. “Well, fuck you too. You can lay up with that motherfucker any day. Your birthday doesn’t happen every day.”

He pointed the end of his vibrating phone in Cian’s direction. 

Beli continued. “And to answer your question, Cian, the hater. I’m not in pussy nearly enough since I’m usually with you two brick head ass niggas.”

Cian’s sharp laugh rang out. I finished my sixth mimosa of the day. Moments like these are how I know I am truly blessed. I have a good job, a good man, great friends who are more like brothers, and I have made it to 26 healthy and happy. 

Beli continued. “Speaking of pussy, how much pussy are you giving Salvatore tonight, Ashley?”

I choked on my mimosa. Cian’s laughter increased a few decibels. Before I could say anything slick back, I coughed up most of my champagne alcohol mixture. 

I managed a weak. “Fuck you!”

Beli nudged me. “That’s what Salvatore be saying when he’s knee deep in your bussy.”

Cian knocked over his glass of water, trying to restrain his laughter. I loved Beli, but sometimes I wanted to knock his head clean off his shoulders.

Cian’s face was wet from tears. He reached over the food and grabbed my wrist while laughing directly into my face. 

He said. “I’m sorry, Ashley, but if you’re going to stand us up for Salvatore, you might as well tell us how you’ll be throwing that boochie cat back tonight.”

I snatched my arm back from him and then punched Beli in the chest.

I said. “Both of you niggas are going to hell. But yes, I won’t be at the lounge with you two fools ‘cause my man will have me folded like a pretzel with my head between the headboard and the wall for the rest of the night.”

Cian and Beli groaned.

Cian said. “Alright, alright, enough of that. This ain’t fun anymore.”

He shook his head and then reached for the assortment of soul food and breakfast laid out on the table in front of us. He piled the remaining food on his plate.

Beli and I locked eyes before addressing Cian. 

Beli asked. “Nigga, are you bulking up or something?”

Cian scrunched his face up.

He said. “Fuck you, nigga! I need some food to soak up all this liquor and champagne. I have an admin meeting with President Whittington after this. Speaking of, you know I signed you two up to help with the convocation for the Summer Intakes. The next meeting is Monday afternoon in the admin building.”

Cian was the Director of Greek Life at Legins University A&T—LUA&T, and he excelled there. He was the one who made sure that we all crossed those burning sands together during sophomore year.

Beli said. “Nigga, you can’t just be signing us up for stuff without running it by us first.”

I agreed. “Yeah, Cian, this is not even the tenth time you’ve done this.”

Cian piled grits, scrambled eggs, and meat from the deconstructed chicken wing on a spoon and swallowed before answering us.

“Then you should be used to it by now. You two niggas didn’t mind me signing y’all up for shit when we were in undergrad—”

Beli yelled. “Nigga, that was nearly a decade ago.”

Cian took another few sips of his mimosa.

“Yes, it was nine years, to be exact. Nine years since we all crossed those burning sands into the richest and most coveted organization in these United States.” Cian pulled at the gold lettering embroidered in black stitching on his red tee for emphasis.

He continued. “We are our brother’s keeper. We strengthen our voice and amplify our brothers through service and fellowship!”

Beli and I groaned.

Beli threw a chicken wing at Cian’s head. “Yeah, yeah. Alright nigga, chill. Had I known we were going to be indebted to you until the day we died, I would have chosen a different frat.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, mocking Cian. “We are the illustrious brothers, the trailblazers and trendsetters. We are Alpha Kappa Mu! Brother Belizaire Mazin, you did not choose A-K-Mu, A-K-Mu chose you!”

Cian threw his bones at me.

He said. “Fuck both of you. But a quick change of subject, tell me y’all both are free on Friday.”

Beli asked. “I can be. What’s good?”

Cian answered. “My family is having our annual Field Day, and my parents are hosting this year. My mother insists that I be there. I don’t want to be there with my family alone in the scorching sun for hours.”

Beli said. “Yeah, bro, I’m down. I’ll be there. Just let me know the time.”

I said. “Yeah, same. We’ll be there to get you through it.”

Cian exhaled. “Thank you. I really appreciate it. I don’t know if I can make it with my family and our extended family, especially with my brothers there.”

I asked. “Cian, you don’t think this could be an opportunity to bury the hatchet with your family?”

Cian shook his head.

He said. “No, they treated me like shit for most of my life. Nothing I did was good enough, especially with my perfect big brothers who could do no wrong.”

Beli took another sip of his drink. He said. “Man, I get you. I swear I do, but that was back when you were a kid. Your brothers may have given you hell, but you’re grown now. You can beat them niggas up, and we will help you jump them.

I mean, not that we would need to. You’re a solid-ass nigga. I remember when we met your 2x4 head ass. You weren’t as diesel as you are now. Look at how far you’ve come from that soft freshman 11 years ago.”

Cian said. “Yeah, I am bigger and can handle my own, but that doesn’t make it any easier to be in a space with them.”

My speech slurred as I spoke. “I just wish you and your family could be close. I hate that you have all this anxiety around them.”

Beli said. “Cian, bro, part of your beef with your family may stem from your treatment when you were a kid, sure. But you have to at least entertain the idea that you hold some blame here.”

Cian looks at us in the way he does when he’s considering if he should bite his tongue or let his feelings be known.

Cian asked. “What the hell are you even talking about, Beli?”

Beli continues. “Man, look, we love you. But you are not comfortable in your own skin. So they probably don’t know what to do with you.”

Cian snaps back. “Fuck you, Beli. How are you going to sit here and tell me how I am? I love me, my nigga.”

I shook my head.

I said. “Cian, you don’t have to snap at Beli for offering his perspective.”

Cian shoveled the food into his mouth. He checked out. That was one of his nasty habits. When Cian didn’t like what you were saying, he would withdraw almost entirely. But we loved him regardless.

Through a mouth full of waffles, chicken, and syrup, he snapped.

“Ashley, Beli, I didn’t ask for your perspective. I just asked that you both support me.”

Beli put his hands up in a surrendering motion and sucked his teeth.

He said. “You’re right, Cian. You didn’t ask, but as your friend, I figured I’d offer. I love you regardless, bro. Do what you want. We support you. You do what you need in your own time.”

Beli and I watched on as Cian’s intensity slowed. That tenseness he held was moving through him. He dropped his shoulders as he swallowed the last bite of his brunch.

Cian said. “My bad, bro. I know you mean well, and you too, Ashley. But I am comfortable with myself. And if I wasn’t, why would I want to open up to my family? They don’t need to know everything about me.”

I grabbed Cian’s wrist and tried to sober up. I didn’t want the meaningfulness of my next words to be lost because of the alcohol on my breath.

I said. “You’re right, your family doesn’t need to know everything about you, but if you don’t let them know the important things, how do you expect to have a relationship with them?”

Beli said. “Yeah, fam. We ain’t saying you got to do it today, but the way you talk about them loving your older brothers more than you and how differently you were treated shows that it still bothers you. Regardless of your decision, whether you cut off contact with them completely or if you want things to remain the same as they are now. We riding with you, but what type of friends would we be if we were just your yes-men?”

Cian smiled. “You wouldn’t be worth your weight, that’s for damn sure.”

I loved my bros even when they did things I didn’t always think were healthy for them. I would be there for them every step of the way, just like they were here for me.

We sat in silence for a few seconds. With Adina Howard and NEXT blasting from the speakers and the chatter of the other patrons, this table felt like those undergrad days in the cafeteria. I could have shed a tear right there. This is really all I needed for my birthday.

Beli checked his phone, and a smile spread across his face.

I refilled my and Cian’s glasses with the potent mimosas at the end of the table.

I asked. “Nah, nigga, who got you smiling like that?”

Beli slapped his arm on my shoulder. “Pussy is calling, of course.” He stood up from the table.

I said. “It’s my birthday. You’re supposed to be kicking it with the bros, Beli.”

Cian says. “Yeah, besides, you’ve been on a roll all summer. Which one is that now? Brenda, LaTisha, Linda, Felicia?”

I laughed and then added. “Maybe it’s Dawn, LeShaun, Ines, or Alicia.”

Beli threw a wad of hundreds on the table.

He said. “Shut up, you rock headass niggas. Here’s the money for brunch, and buy yourself something nice with the rest, Ashley.”

He hugged me with his free arm and then kissed the top of my head.

He continued. “Love you, bro. I’ll see you at the meeting. And don’t let Salvatore break your back too bad tonight.”

Beli bent down and hugged Cian.

He said. “I’ll see you there too, bro. Hit me later.”

Cian said. “Bet that.”

While Beli took his call in his car and Cian prepared to leave for his meeting, I checked my phone again. And there, staring back at me, was the message I sent to Salvatore asking him if we were still on for my birthday tonight.

Still…no answer, and that was last night.

*Loving Ashley ebook HERE
**Loving Ashley paperback HERE